My Baby and I
An Original Masterpiece by Jennifer Soh Li Wen, Sunday, January 14, 2007, 5:03 p.m.
Right from the start, I was happy. My lips were sealed and my ears were wide opened. At that time, I stood proud. Beyond the horizon of the ocean, I heard the whistling of the waves while droplets of the salty seawater kissed my cheeks. I felt the rustling wind combing my long black hair when all of the sudden I saw the bright shining evening sun faded, swallowed by the darkness of the night rushing sea.
At this place, I fell in love. My fingers were surrounded by pearls, my body was covered by a beautiful piece of whitish silk cloth, and my face was colored pink. From then I knew that he was my choice of man and I willingly said, “I do.”
It had been three years as time came passing by. The man I love kept changing every time. Like weather, he was quick-tempered and all his anger would throw to me. Till then, I was always his victim. He came back home at 9 at night, called me with no sense of directions; he aimed his dissatisfaction towards me as if I was his slave although I had another human in me.
A moment of flashback, my skin was soft, smooth, and fair. I did not know that the color changed so dramatically: red, black, and blue, they were all mixed together and my baby kept getting bigger. From head to toe, I bore all the pains and sufferings. Every day I was accompanied by melodic hymns and I was so strength less to even fill my tummy.
That was the story of my baby and I. Both mother and child were abused by Papa. As early as dawn, we were called by God. Even before my baby was born and never got a chance to see the world, both of us were gone. We were in the chamber of torture and we did not know where to go. Now, we humbly stayed in Heaven and my child continued watching his Papa. Finally, my child got to capture a glimpse of him and I whispered to him, “My baby, this is your Papa forever – the man who now started to regret. Oh dear, it is all too late. Regretting later is of no use. I really hope to forgive him, my child. I want to tell him that I truly love him…” My tears could not flow, so dry but I felt that I was tearing inside. I lost my ability. “Honey, I gave birth to this baby just for you. My dear, don’t you cry for I have never blamed you. Please forgive me, our son is with Him. Repent my husband and pray at all times. Call upon your child whom I’ve named him after yours…”
“Papa, I miss you. Carry on your battle and remember me and our baby. God will bless you. I promise, I’ll always remember the words you own. From the second I became your wife, with you I found my talents and I didn’t stop being bold. In front of you, I danced. Beside you, I sang. Without you, I am independent.”
“Hubby, I don’t want you to be sad. Life has got to be perfect. Try your best to reach to the top. Be more diligent to ask, searching for answers rather than just walking around. Remember, you are one successful man. Only you I would call hero and a loyal husband. My love for you gets deeper and deeper every single day. I believe that we will meet one day, so, be patient, my husband. While you are still alive, don’t sink. If you fall, stand up immediately. You must always contribute as your existence is very important to the eyes of the world. Just give all you have within you and fight till your last breath. When you fly, don’t be afraid of heights. When you land, don’t you envy people for everyone needs to feed their own mouths. Experiences are not meant to be bought or sold. The further you go, the greater knowledge you’ll gain. Your child here wants to see you being religious and humble as well as to see you achieving your dreams. Be an example to all our youngsters out there. From the bottom of our hearts, we love Papa…”
It was hard to bid last goodbye. Papa was listening so hard that he could not catch every word I said but in my heart, I knew he understood. He spoke to us every night when he prayed. He asked God to open our conversation among the four of us to communicate. God agreed. At once, I felt like a family again. Such would not happen if I did not follow him and whisper to his ears when I was in Heaven, so did my child…
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