Here to Stay

Here to Stay:

Written Originally by Jennifer Soh Li Wen, 28^th September 2011, Wednesday, 10:09 a.m.-10:49 a.m.

So far away,

I’m here to stay;

I’m here to stay,

So far away.

Didn’t know,

You felt the way I did;

Mistletoe,

Was the last thing that we see?

So tell me,

What to do;

I’m lost, too,

So tell me,

What to say,

Before I go insane.

I’m so in love with you,

You’re my weakness in truth;

I’m tired of hiding through,

I want to see you,

I wanna stuck with you,

I wanna be with you;

Oh, dreams do come true,

I wanna be your boo.

So far away,

I’m here to stay;

I’m here to stay,

So far away.

Will you come?

And save me?

What have I become?

I miss you, baby.

So tell me,

What to do;

I’m lost, too,

So tell me,

What to say,

Before I go insane.

Fit me in your shoe,

I’ll walk with you…

Chinese Baju Kurung

Chinese Baju Kurung:

Written Originally by Jennifer Soh Li Wen, 20^th September 2011, Tuesday, 7:16 p.m.-8:59 p.m., In My Middle Room

Ladies and gentlemen,

I’m a Chinese baju kurung Malaysian;

Not to worry for this isn’t a female empowerment,

This is just my faithful and humble statement.

I grew up in the city,

In a diversified multicultural society;

During the National Service I met my dorm mate, Siti,

She gave me her baju kurung without any complexity.

It’s a sign and symbol that we’re truly Malaysians,

We don’t simply make races assumptions;

Instead we have many functions and occasions,

Too many holidays because of festive seasons and celebrations.

The baju kurung is my first piece,

I received it in glee and peace;

It’s yellow, fitting, and suiting my skin,

After seven years I still have it safe and clean.

I love wearing baju kurung,

What could go wrong?

We Chinese do also love wearing sarung,

This kind of tradition has been repeating for so long.

God and history are the ones, who brought me up here till today,

I’ve successfully grown up into a Malaysian lady;

But I sometimes have headaches,

As I face heartbreaks and heartaches.

Malaysia has too many races, ethnics, colors, languages, dialects, and religions,

I think I look too good in my baju kurung;

I’m not famous among the Chinese and Christians,

People love looking at me wearing tudung.

Since years ago,

I’ve been saying no;

To guys who aren’t my goal,

They may think my heart is as black as coal,

But they should know that I actually feel cold,

I’m not as bold as you think I could;

For I can’t possibly mould,

Myself to be a sudden non-Christian mode from head to toe.

Everyone comes from different families,

So do you and me;

I’ve been warned about this,

I don’t want to be a humiliation to my family.

My emotion color is unlike my baju kurung,

That is very bright in yellow;

You can see me still being murung,

Thinking about this I feel so low.

Guys think Chinese girls are open,

And somewhat easy;

They have to have their thoughts re-sharpened,

And don’t say things as they please.

I admit I’m a young adult,

I give and take everything as my knowledge;

But I won’t put certain knowledge into practical without,

Having the official first night of the day I conduct my marriage.

If you think I’m that kind of touch and go woman,

Don’t ever come to me;

I’m not like that and I’m just a normal human,

And somebody’s future wife and mother-to-be.

I don’t like it when you said that I’ll be temporary,

Just for your own satisfactory;

I’m not a candy sweet factory,

My supplies and replies are priceless, spicy, and contemporary.

Modern age doesn’t mean it supports virginity free,

Some girls are still virgins up to their degree;

So why would you want to exploit that particular territory?

I know you want it for your own beneficiary.

No use giving me roses and teddy,

I’m protecting myself as a virgin;

I won’t allow you to start touching my body,

For I don’t want both of us to sin.

If you loyally love me,

You won’t use me;

You won’t say you’ll dump me,

You won’t do something to hurt me.

If you truly love me,

You won’t let me see;

You being hurt,

Out of your own flirt.

That’s why I can’t start this relationship,

It can only remain as friendship;

I don’t need to give people showmanship,

Because true love is far greater than a spaceship.

Like you,

I also think that mix marriage is good;

But the sad thing is that your love isn’t real,

You just want me as your meal.

Even if it’s real,

I can’t make a deal;

Our differences are visible,

Too crystal clear to get me into trouble.

I’m so sorry I can’t go things your way,

Thank you so much for loving me as you may;

I hope you’ll forget me day by day,

Be energized and spirited high with the ray.

Try not to care about what people say,

Tell yourself that everything will be okay;

Take this as a beautiful life experience,

It’s your bravery that gave you this chance.

After you left the scene,

I so need a break;

This emotion is so hard to be seen,

As I seriously felt a major heartbreak.

Don’t ask me again about my love for you,

The problem is I can’t love you;

I don’t deserve your love, too,

Save it and keep it, please, for somebody who can respond to it like you want it to.

You’ve given me a memory,

That’s extremely hard to delete;

Every day I’ll carry,

Until my days are complete.

You aren’t the one to see me age,

You won’t know which of my organs will damage;

You won’t know when I’ll suffocate,

You won’t witness my last breath of the date.

Don’t cry for me if I leave earlier than you,

God saves me from the view of you;

Death will not part me and you,

In Heaven I see you.

Because of you,

My future is unpredictable;

Because of you,

My worry seems to double.

No matter what it is,

This is my true story;

I’m born Chinese,

To God be the glory.

I’ve my only baju kurung with me,

A Malaysian forever I’ll be;

I like people smiling at me,

A Chinese baju kurung me,

I like it and proud to be,

A girl with pride and dignity;

A lady with essence of nationality,

A young adult citizen of such characterism that is never lonely.

Expiry Date

Expiry Date:

Written Originally by Jennifer Soh Li Wen, 17^th September 2011, Saturday, 11:13 p.m.-11:21 p.m. (Plus Some Extra Time for Extra Ideas)

Verse 1:

Everything has an expiry date,

What do you think about it?

I don’t like it one bit,

It’s just a date with butt shit.

Chorus:

Expiry date,

What about our date?

Does it have a date?

Does your love have a date?

Expiry date,

What about our date?

Does your love have a date?

If yes, I’ll turn my love to hate.

Verse 2:

Everything has an expiry date,

What do you think about it?

I think it smells like shit,

It’s such a brat hypocrite.

Chorus

Verse 3:

Everything has an expiry date,

What do you think about it?

I find it so pathetic,

It’s very much alike cosmetic.

Bridge:

Forever yours, your girlfriend Kate,

An Andy’s baby from Aussie, mates;

I hope our love has no expiry dates,

Let’s not just depend on fate,

I don’t remember the things we ate,

So, let’s have more dates on each of our plate!

Chorus 

Dear you

Dear you:

Written Originally by Jennifer Soh Li Wen, 17^th September 2011, Saturday, Idea: 8:21 p.m., Started writing from 9:55 p.m.-11:55 p.m.

(Plus Some Extra Time for Some Extra Thoughts)

Dear you,

How are you?

I’m fine, thank you,

I just wanna talk to you.

Will it be okay if I do?

After all, I do care for you;

Just can’t be with you,

From my background’s view.

I’m happy you once loved me,

I’m a Chinese;

Met at the same school we studied,

And you thought I’m the girl of your dreams.

Dear you,

Were your feelings true?

If yes, I can feel it, too,

It’s just that I can’t be with you.

You,

You still care for me, don’t you?

I’m happy that it doesn’t bother you,

It’s because you’ve met a girl named Ayu.

She’s lovely,

That’s what I think;

Sincerely,

She got my eyes blinked.

Do you still think of me?

I know she’s the one for you;

But you can’t deny that you first loved me,

The one you thought is meant for you.

If I said I wannabe with you,

Regardless of my family;

Will you leave Ayu?

Just to be with me?

Is it hard to find back the feeling?

That you once had for me?

I guess nothing I can bring,

To make you come back to me.

I know why you chose her,

She looks like me;

People may think I’m her sister,

And mistaken her for me.

Once I came across a funeral,

I saw your picture and I stumble;

You went to the crowd and saw me,

I can’t believe that we still can meet.

I didn’t know you have a twin brother,

You both look so similar;

But the car accident I had was terrible,

Now I’m no longer here.

I can’t be yours but I can be your brother’s,

We’re now safe and happy in Heaven;

I wish you happiness,

I shall call us even.

Even true love separates us,

By fate and being religious;

Maybe it’s my fault at first,

Maybe this is my curse.

You know that I love you,

I know you loved me, too;

A sacrifice has been made by us two,

Your love for me for Ayu and my love for you for Abu.

We could have had our generation,

But there’s no intention;

That we don’t have to mention,

We were still so young preparing to receive injection.

Dear you,

I want to thank you;

For being you,

And forever the real you.

There when I met you,

I thought of school;

Having saved by you,

I knew you weren’t a fool.

I’m sorry I can’t be true to you because of the truth,

I’ve to drink liquor that’s brewed;

That’s what I can do,

That’s what you can’t do.

Abu is like the second you,

Here, I get to see you;

But I don’t get to feel,

What I felt on Earth.

When I said happy with Abu,

I only think of you;

I’m not cheating Abu,

He knows he should take care of me for you.

I’m safe with him,

Don’t you worry;

God allows me to meet him,

Because in Heaven,

There’s only one God,

And everyone gathers in unity.

Treat Ayu nicely,

Respectfully;

Gently,

Like how you’ll treat me.

You’ve replaced me,

I’m fine with it;

You still care for me,

I can see and feel it.

But she’s no me,

I’m no her;

She loves you not knowing there was me,

Don’t you ever make her suffer.

Don’t be sad for me,

Abu hears your whispering;

He tells me everything,

I really feel sorry.

But I can’t forget the moment you had me in your arms,

It was the first time I saw you deep into my eyes;

Yours tears dripped into my eyes,

They could have saved me but life isn’t a lie,

In the end, I’ve no regrets closing them,

Knowing that you’re right there;

Having your tears flowing in my body,

You and I, both of us are officially joined in unanimity.

It really is you,

At last I met you;

It’s nothing about Abu or Ayu,

It’s about me and you.

You’re the first, who loved me ever so,

You’re the only one I remembered so;

How can this world be so cold?

I did exactly what they told.

White rice has become black porridge,

You’ll not see me again;

But I’ll be waiting for you at the bridge,

Take your time and hopefully till then our love will still sustain.

In your heart,

May I be your invisible wife?

I still wannabe in your heart,

Even though in life, we only met in total twice.

I don’t have any serious relationship,

All who came to me were bullshit;

Except you but we went through hardship,

In the end, what we had was just friendship.

Dear you,

I wish to say dearest you;

I want to love you,

I want to be with you.

I’m not silly,

I’m just being me;

The one that you dreamed,

Still feels lonely.

Dear you,

Sadly, nothing can be true;

I’m sorry for all you went through,

You’re strong enough to pull and make it through.

Dear you,

I seriously want to thank you;

I want to thank God, too,

For having us two met in school.

Dear you,

You’re so good;

There’s no second you,

Not even your twin, Abu.

Dear you,

Be happy with Ayu;

Have little juniors you,

Make your dreams come true.

Dear you,

God’s calling me;

In your heart I’ll be,

You know what?

I’ve wanted to tell you this,

Sweetheart, I love you, too;

May God bless you,

And your family tree without me in it,

By the way, if you think I’m with Abu, I chose not to,

There’s no story between me and him, trust me;

There’s no room for a duplicate cloned you,

For in my heart, there is only one you in it.

Dearest only you,

I really have to stop here;

My regards to Ayu,

Love you dearly, your girl.

P/S: Abu sends his love to you and family. He misses all of you so much. Talk to him.