Visions

Visions: A Personal Note Of A Moderate Girl On Her Life Thus Far: Written Originally by Jennifer Soh Li Wen, 16^th July 2011, Saturday, 8:15 p.m.-9:10 p.m. (Plus some extra quiet time)

Before I die,

I want to testify;

I want to fly,

Before I die.

My life is full of visions,

I have my many missions;

But they are merely creations,

Of my very own vain actions.

For that, I want to do nothing,

If I did do something;

I will make sure it has a meaning,

So that I will not regret a thing.

When I think about my past,

I regret on how I grew up;

I hate my feeling of lust,

Since young, I got all mixed up.

When I was still busy schooling,

Pirated VCDs and DVDs I kept on buying;

I am most attracted to movies,

Of those have many sex scenes.

Now that I have watched them over,

By me they are all being destroyed;

I wish not to think it over,

But I find it hard to avoid.

I am older now,

I think better now;

I realize I am only a human,

I do not want to be a demon.

I have a question,

I hope someone has an answer;

Why men are not treated the same?

Why is it important to have fame?

I have another question,

I hope someone else has an answer;

Why do men make life hard?

Whilst God has given us everything?

What I mean is,

I have a dilemma;

On the easy life that God freely gives,

Why do men have to price everything?

While I am growing older,

I know what a crush is;

I like many guys before like one named Chandler,

Now I learnt that rushing is not what true love is.

I do not understand humans,

Everything is changed according to technology;

To only make everyone solely believe,

That it is for a better living.

Information Technology (IT),

Sounds so edgy;

With gadgets so mini,

I do not want nor need one as each burden me.

Now people want to exceed time,

That seems impossible;

They want to prolong life,

That seems arguable.

There are too many happenings,

On the surface of the Earth physically;

As a human, I feel so very sorry,

Our world is full of manmade things.

I encourage no more buying,

On various certain things;

In order to stop sinning, killing, and producing,

All the valuable lives and unnecessary things.

I pity all of the animals,

And their nature friends;

They are not as cruel as mortals,

To them, nothing ends.

I guess these are my visions and missions,

I write based on how I feel and think;

I hope not to invent anymore creations and innovations,

I want every of health to be in pink.

I am careful of pollution and health issues,

I am aware of saving electricity and water;

I use fewer plastics, Styrofoam, and tissues,

I do not want to see no more green trees later.

If you are serious in saving the world,

3R, 4R, or more Rs are not sufficient;

I know that I am just a usual little girl,

My messages you may not hear or listen.

As long as I am living here,

I will continue to convey;

My points and visions,

I do not worship money.

This is my lifestyle,

I do not overeat;

I do not over drink,

For God prepares just enough natural resources for you and me.

Before I have my teeth brushed, go to bed, and simply pen off,

There is something each and everybody I would like to warn;

About the internet and all the social network sites and porn,

Before you become a victim, you better shut all of them off.

In junior high school, Orlando taught me about online nudity,

Based on my memory, we were only just thirteen or fourteen;

Orson, Regan, Edward, and Jeremiah taught me about sex,

At that time, I was 23 and I do not know my level of innocence.

Today I am still in my twenties,

I am still a virgin (Look, my heels are in pinkish red!) and I am afraid of guys already;

If I am one of the beauties,

I may not live like this daily.

I do not go to clubs,

I do not go to pubs;

I do not drink,

I do not party.

Once in a high-class academic event,

My stupidity allowed Mitch to kiss my hand;

That was way back in my university’s misery,

I got wooed by foreigners of three.

Once my open-mindedness led me making a slip with a guy,

And now he still does not let me go by;

What should I do to tell him goodbye?

I do not want to be his friend anymore and play sext-reply.

I bravely once replied his recent disturbing texts,

He wanted to know about my life and “nothing else”;

If I still befriend him, my intuition tells me that eventually we will be sending sexts,

I am so happy that he said goodbye when I said that we are no longer friends

(Can you believe it? With just one wrong step, easily I have just lost a friend.).

Since I am scared,

I thought of a pretty relevant and rational solution;

To love and be loved,

A handicapped husband should be a good selection.

The reason is because,

I may have no choice;

I do not like any man, who raises his voice,

If one does so, I will press the button pause.

Dearest world of natures, floras, faunas, and humans (Humans do not come first in God’s master plans.),

I am so sorry for my wrongdoings and misbehaviors;

I will go anytime according to God’s own perfect timing,

This life is no longer suitable for me to happily live in.

Dearest God, family, and friends (Including strangers.),

Thank you so very much for bringing and having me here;

I pray and hope that each of our relationship never ends,

Please forgive me for my secret, silence, and misbehavior (I humbly repent all of my bad sins.).

If men were to hibernate like bears,

I can feel that the Earth will not be in such a mess;

Damaging activities may become less,

It truly shows of the planet Earth each of us cares.

Too bad all of these ifs cannot happen,

I am being unfair to many of those who are living in full of primitive and poverty;

Men rule the world with each a weapon,

We should learn from the poor and we should not make any development policy.

Dearest all little babies in this world,

You are as beautiful and special as pearls;

Once you are born, you have to suffer,

So sorry, you have to bear the consequences.

If anything dire were to occur,

In year 2012 or any other year;

Never do try blaming others,

Point yourself with all your fingers (And your toes.).

Be grateful with what you have,

Be thankful as others may not have;

All of the blessings that God lets you have,

Be happy and satisfied with all that you have,

Love every beauty and flaw that all of us have.