Alarm of Death

31st December 2012, Monday, 4:01 p.m.-4:06 p.m., in my hostel room (319, H06, Desasiswa Bakti Permai) in USM, Penang

Death almost greeted me again,
She cooked and left the room;
The alarm quickly long rang,
A security guy came to look,
Inquiring and knocking,
Wandering and smelling;
Found out the thing burning,
Thank you authority for saving.

Cry to Love

Cry to Love: Written originally by Jennifer Soh Li Wen, 14^th December 2012, Friday, at 3:10 a.m.-4:09 a.m., in my hostel room, USM, Penang, Malaysia, dedicated to my Mass Comm, USM ex-colleague Yugeetha Balan :”)

This isn’t the only road,

This isn’t the only boat;

I’ve kissed before a toad,

I still see a handsome prince in coat.

When life eats up your desire,

When your car loses its tire;

As long as your heart is on fire,

You’re able to fix any wire.

Why do we have to cry to laugh?

Why do we have to trust to bluff?

There’s light in the dark,

We just have to let it spark.

Define yourself,

Up to today;

Tidy up your shelf,

Make yourself a way.

Friends met,

Lessons get;

Masters set,

Wages Nett,

Cages pet,

Payments debt;

Success bet,

Tunnels jet.

My dear Yugeetha,

You’ve come so far;

Just look at who you are,

A bright twinkling sunny star,

You gave me lifts with your car,

We have travelled most on tar;

Verbal sharing of more than a jar,

We know USM life isn’t just a chocolate bar.

Do we have to cry to love?

Do we have to lie to cover up?

No matter how much hurt,

These are good experiences filling each’s cup.

I apologize for being late,

For my promise has been made;

This poem is my gift for you,

It’s the best that I could do.

I’ll never forget your kindness,

You led me through my blindness;

I’m grateful for your sharpness,

For my flaws you don’t mind witness.

I pray and hope,

Everything you can cope;

Fragrant as the floral soap,

Climbing the chosen rope.

Don’t be like me,

You’ve your own destiny;

Be who you want to be,

God’ll give you if you dream big.

I’m glad to meet you,

Nice knowing you;

You comforted my blue,

You live life in true.

Although temporary,

Because I lari;

Believing in secondary,

A new tale and hari.

Forgive me,

I’m not an example to be;

I recorded a new history,

I’ve been living in fear and worry.

Never knew I’d end 2012 like this,

Real food I’ve been missing;

I must know my bliss,

My feet need dancing.

It’s late now,

I humbly bow;

Give yourself a wow!

Moo better than a cow,

You showed and taught me how,

Simple and happiness just allow;

Stand firm like an owl,

At any second-minute-hour.

Do keep in touch,

Thank you and sorry very much;

It’s time for me to fly,

But this’ll never mean goodbye.

Leaving,

Meaning;

Blessing,

Timing.

All the best,

Do your best;

God handles the rest,

Build your own nest.

Goodnight and sweet dreams,

My bed is calling me;

No matter how tough it seems,

I’m sure you can do it! 

Margy Psychology

Margy Psychology: Written originally by Jennifer Soh Li Wen, 10^th December 2012, Monday, at 2:52 a.m.-3:11 a.m., in my hostel room, USM, Penang, Malaysia

Here is Margy,

Trying to understand orgy;

She’s just ordinary,

Nothing contrary,

Loves forestry,

Searches tapestry;

Living in a country,

Listening to Daughtry,

Body as hairy,

Removing temporary;

Growing to finery,

Tasting winery,

Learning bakery,

Financing recovery;

Loving is free,

Yet so scary,

To God be the glory,

Remembering Larry;

Recalling Harry,

Heart feeling weary,

Poor little Margy,

Testing her psychology;

Challenging bravery,

Fierce like Halle Berry,

Sweet like Shortcake Strawberry,

Wishing for a puppy;

Wanting to be happy,

Welcoming positivity,

Trying any activity,

Saving privacy;

Protecting body,

Hoping to be sexy,

Dressing foxy,

What could she be?

What is she to be?

Calling a taxi,

It’s time to leave,

Turning a new leaf;

Eating vege and beef,

Windy air a sniff,

Biting a creep,

Swimming Ocean deep;

The machine shouts a beep,

She has fallen to sleep. 

Do We Know Each Other?

By Jenn: 22nd November 2012, Thursday, 12:33 a.m.-12:53 a.m., USM Hostel Room

The blood that rushed,
The heartbeat that pumped;
Subside,
Collide,
Tonight,
I see the light;
You aren't at sight,
Without you inside,
From your hands,
My heart danced;
Back to my fence,
Back to my defense,
No more romance,
You're a past;
I need to rest,
And live the best,
Forget the mess,
Forgive the dress;
This is a test,
Of leaving the nest,
Off you from my chest,
From my head;
Keeping distance,
Dumping what we had,
It's time to relax,
Live life to the max;
Packing bags,
Jet lags,
If a circumstance,
"Do I know you?" I might ask;
Or I wouldn't even give a bother,
Because do we know each other?
Body lack of salt,
Replaced with malt;
Tired of getting involved,
Born and die alone once and for all.

Virgin No More

**Note: Before you start reading, please be informed that the use of the vocabulary "virgin" here carries the meaning of the girl in this poem, who is no longer a virgin (she has experienced) in falling in love (being in love). The writer has no intention at all of existing it as its literal meaning in the adulthood context. Thank you, all...

Virgin No More: Written originally by Jennifer Soh Li Wen, 19^th November 2012, Monday, 2:21 a.m.- 5:11 a.m., USM hostel room, Plus time from before 1:40 p.m. to edit some thoughts..

“In the reminiscence of our spot and all of the other dots:

– On the family, rainbow, food, education, and flight – With and without my very frog eyes.”

Hello there,

Just want to tell you;

Remind you,

That God is fair.

I shall say yesterday as today,

For I haven’t dreamt yet;

God knows I pray and pray,

Will define if you let.

I was in the deep sea,

A mermaid swam free;

God sent me a he,

In love was all I see.

Half of ten,

It wasn’t a weekend;

“Anymore,” repeated my man,

Yours truly, “The end.”

Facing,

Reading;

Shaking,

Losing.

Don’t forget 14^th,

Via text messaging;

Evening at 7:46^th,

4 the only 1 imprint.

The names of an umbrella,

Day or night no matter;

Rain or shine even better,

As the rainbow gave us a holler.

Traveling made easy,

But the experience was lousy;

Everyone was bossy,

Speaking became busy.

Volumes of high and low,

It was hard to reap the sow;

Attacks all in a row,

We became the wheels on tow.

There were leakages everywhere,

I could just hug my bear;

If only I knew when he was there,

Already deciding to adjust his rear.

It was difficult then easy,

I was just a little Missy;

His hair was never greasy,

His temper was never pissy.

2 + (– 2),

Gained and lost;

True and false,

One became two.

3 x 2,

A number to prove;

Months exclude,

Communication still smooth.

Skin colors had no clue,

No reason to be blue;

United by heartfelt glue,

Walked through hot and flu.

My presence,

His absence;

My nonsense,

My lessons.

Welcome to my history,

Happy yet melancholy;

Short but satisfactory,

Affected unnecessarily.

Together a scene,

Together a sin?

Collected gossips,

Uncontrollable lips.

Now that it’s over,

I have had my sober;

Hope for quick recover,

It’s gonna be December.

I blame unto me,

My negativity;

Too much to a degree,

I was left by the he.

Does life have instruction?

Why is mine under construction?

Went into destruction,

Dying of liposuction.

Angels saved me,

Both soul and body;

Siblings hugged me,

Alerted me that I’m a lady.

My eyes are closing,

But I’m not finished;

The songs I was listening,

Kelly Clarkson’s mission accomplished.

Do we really need at least a song?

To know who and where we are?

Songwriters live long,

Congratulations on reaching people far.

“Songwriters don’t have specific shoe sizes. They fit all of them.”

Breakthrough occurred yesterday,

Unwrapped, tore, given, captured, and thrown away;

Another I shall keep as I may,

He has missed what I wanted to say.

Memories that haunted,

Photos that sorted;

Status posted-unposted,

Family reported-unreported.

My tears went back to the sea,

Salted in transparency;

He won’t get to see,

He doesn’t want to see.

God has given me refuge,

Though my prayers aren’t huge;

He saves and loves you,

He neither leaves nor forsakes you.

A child to the Father,

Thy Love a beautiful feather;

Tests you to go farther,

You’ll make it somehow or rather.

My Lord,

Please forgive me;

I’m so sorry for all my sins,

Oh Lord,

I repent my sins,

Oh Lord;

I won’t do it again,

Oh Lord.

Our date is every night before dreamland,

Oh Lord;

I’ll speak up and not pretend,

I’ll be too honest with You, Thy Lord.

“It wasn’t yet dawn as He heard my prayer and wiped my every tear; the pillow quenched.”

I bid goodbye,

To the past that imply;

Though truth but lie,

Wings spread too fast to fly.

My heart,

Placed in his cart;

Is it still in his mart?

I find it difficult to conclude this part.

No doubt God is still comforting me,

He still allows me to breathe;

The missing piece is with him,

But How Great Thou Art that He is still within me.

I’m fragile,

Unto Him I reconcile;

My burdens a pile,

Left me moments awhile.

I shan’t live in fear,

Simple is just near;

I’ve dragged and should’ve ended it earlier,

So that the conclusion today wouldn’t appear.

It’s good that he has decided,

I deserve to be like that treated;

God will bless him with another,

Very sorry I failed to be a mother.

Words written and said to be forgotten,

Best if not to mention;

Calm the hearts that were once fast beaten,

We no longer need each other’s any attention.

All of the sweet loving,

Blessing and caring;

Eager while chasing,

Slower while separating.

Technology helped us a little,

Distance made the egg scramble;

We were once a colorful Skittle,

Before my big slip-up of the vehicle trouble.

The memories created were memorable,

Yet all made me vulnerable and stumble;

Forgive me for this isn’t a grumble,

I’m pushed in clearing all off the table.

I admit my innocence,

I seek for repentance;

I went through mental and physical obstacles,

I had you with me but I still wandered in circles.

“The brave move of asking and being advised: They thought that the contract shouldn’t be broken by any, because it never happened, but on your Birthday, I’ve made a new history.”

The Doctor frightened me,

I became worse than ugly;

I wrote to you in poetry and texty and spoke wordy quite many?

I wished you were there more often when I was monologue-ing.

Because of my stupidity,

I was too blind to see;

Not valuing my integrity,

I hung myself on the disaster tree.

Now that the rope is gone,

All thanks to the storm;

I fell to the ground inner-out bruised and torn,

God has lifted me up with His Hands so warm.

Positivity,

I invite you on bended knee;

Show me your dignity,

I’m happy with no money.

This memory,

In university;

Too much to carry,

Back to the city.

Sorry I had to leave,

I had too much grief;

I find no place here for me,

I’m no longer important to the he.

“The willingness of me to work and stay, discussions with some on accommodation in every single say and way, God’s planning is to make me not leave him, the job offer was the proof of it, I accepted and regretted it, and now I’ve lost all these – trust, faith, income, and him.”

I’ve said to him before,

He’s my only core;

This love I bore,

It’s still alive but sore,

The clothes I wore,

Some already entered the trash galore;

My writings he may tore,

To forget the attempted trials and tribulations before,

The late nights’ talks till snore,

The fun eating and splashing to pore;

His persona I adore,

The serious one I’ve fallen for for he doesn’t roar,

I’ve learnt so much from this floor,

Experiences of the good and bad have made me fall and soar;

All I can declare now is that I’m not a whore,

But to also clarify that I’m a virgin no more.

“I picture rendezvous of us somewhere over the rainbow &/ under the same sky, eyes to eyes, and hearts beating fast – In the name of loyalty, we still want to be together, forget about the rest, families to understand, the time reset, and start again, where we paused. I’ll wait...”

Empowomen

Empowomen: Written Originally by Jennifer Soh Li Wen, 16^th November 2012, Friday (T.G.I.F.!), 12:35 a.m.-2:01 a.m., Laying on the Bed of the Room Numbered 319, Block H06, Desasiswa Bakti Permai, Universiti Sains Malaysia (USM), Penang, Malaysia.

So much have said,

So much have done;

So much have laid,

So much to none.

Material being,

Human being;

Patronizing,

Romancizing.

Fluid off the body,

24 hours of validity;

It’s time to pick up the laundry,

Recognizing identity.

It was a good duration,

For affection;

Longer than the previous,

Except that those were oblivious.

No more monkey,

No more puppy;

From reality to sorry,

From fantasy to gravity.

Thanking but lacking,

Loving but suffering;

Joy but temporary,

Together but solitary.

5 out of 10,

Never a perfect 10;

A woman without a man,

A rooster without a hen.

Pick up the pan,

Get some tan;

Drive the van,

Rise as you can,

It’s not the speed you ran,

It’s how not to pretend;

A good helping hand you lend,

Let all go as you’ve clicked “Send”.

Hope not for return,

Ashes fly after a burn;

Lessons you learn,

Save what you earn.

Motionless on bed,

As if I’m dead;

No blood so red,

Oxygen from heart to head.

Women,

Of breasts;

Uterus,

And vagina,

Men,

Of chests;

Phallus,

And retina.

Dear Adam and Eve,

When did you leave?

Was your love easy?

Do you need lingerie sexy and lacy?

Dearest God,

I’ve no interest in iPod;

Forgive me for my rod,

Forgive me for my nod.

Recovery never came once,

Upon midnight I can already dance;

Living again freelance,

Feeding self with needs and wants.

Will my dream come true?

Is writing rude?

Sketches I drew,

Still raw to brew.

Dearest you,

I want to thank you;

Chosen as your beau,

Though so new.

Culture and religion,

Structure and vision;

Similarities in differences,

Causes in consequences.

Mixed relationship,

Friendship and courtship;

Still in humanity,

Honesty and integrity.

Past memories,

Candies and liquories;

Drama series,

Dark chocolates and strawberries.

Enough already,

Stand up steady;

Never be greedy,

Manage your own needy.

Live healthy and happy,

Stop facing lappy;

Find another story,

Unnecessary a deary.

Ready your garment,

For empowomen;

For the betterment,

Honey goes well with lemon.

I shall continue my journey,

From city to city;

Believing identity,

Till I find my anemoney.

It’s late and it’s a good day,

Empowerhythm will keep me awake;

Fear not and go your way,

Not for anyone but your own sake.

Remember self-respect,

Know how to act;

Improve what you lack,

I’ll say no more and hit the sack.

Gentle warning:

Beware of self-made vocabularies, grammaries, & spellings. The title has spoken well, hasn’t it?