Not Late, Not Yet

Not Late, Not Yet

Written originally by Jennifer Soh Li Wen, 15^th January 2012, Sunday, 9:05 a.m.-10:01 a.m., in middle room, University Heights, specially dedicated to my appreciative neighbour, Peter Soh Weng Khai. (Note: I am privileged to be given the trust to write about his Beloved Ah Ma.)

When you have nothing,

God will give you something;

When there are people so many,

There is none other like my Granny.

Spring,

May;

Internship,

Friday.

Planning does not go our way,

She did not meet Saturday;

Supposed to be discharged on that day,

From the hospital I can still see today.

Time passes by,

I miss her and I cry;

Healing does come by,

But madly I still cry.

Memory never fades,

She was so much in faith;

Giving me hope in life in all she said,

Giving me all the love soulful of grace.

I really miss her in her kebaya,

She was so elegant in her kebaya;

On Friday she passed away,

On Friday my world turned gray.

In the emergency unit she laid,

There must be a death angel, who said,

“I have come in your presence,

The world will miss your absence.”

My Aunty was with her the previous night,

Was the moon even bright?

Because after twilight,

She was not the same as that night.

The next morning,

She was sent to the emergency unit;

My Granny wanted to say something,

But the oxygen mask ate it.

That was the last of her,

She left us with a question;

For the whole month I was in depression,

No one could give any answer.

Her funeral,

It was not the last thing I could remember;

I dreamt of her 5 times in interval,

The last was the day before I came back to USM for 1^st Sem’s September.

That was when my Aunty said,

“Ah Ma has paid you a visit;

Before you go to Penang,”

In my heart her words they sang.

My 21^st Birthday,

That was the last I saw her in her kebaya;

Before she passed away,

She became thin but still so bermaya.

She was a woman of 75,

I know death will arrive;

To everybody who is alive,

There is no way to survive.

But to me,

It is not like this;

My Granny,

She is such bliss.

Her touch,

Her smile;

Her laugh,

Her style.

“Ah Ma,

There are so many things;

That I want to tell you,

You cannot leave me like this,

I need you,

I want the whole world to know;

That you are my gold,

Your hands I hold,

I love and honour you so.”

My heart tells me,

Not to believe it;

You are still with me,

You are a Superwoman who is still fit.

As long as I am living,

You shall live in me;

My breath is yours to breathe,

I can now see the moon shining.

“Ah Ma,

You are not late;

No, not yet,

I still need time to tell all people that you are great,

The person who gives me faith,

The person who gives me grace;

Oh, there must be a bridge to you I know somehow,

I will not call you late, no, not now.”