My Destiny

My Destiny:

Written Originally by Jennifer Soh Li Wen (Deer), 2^nd August 2012, Thursday, 12:41 a.m.-1:23 a.m., a Love Dedication to Azizam Ali (Lion) on 14^th August 2012, Tuesday, the Second Month since 14^th June 2012, As the Diary Spread Its Wings.

It’s too early to sleep tonight,

I’ve plenty of time during daylight;

I was hoping to see you in sight,

Because I know my feelings are right.

I’m so happy to have met you in my life,

Your world seems far apart;

But we will survive,

For we are close heart to heart.

How much longer should I wait and ponder?

Taking pictures together;

Be with each other,

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Ali Vafaei Zadeh,

Delam barat kheyli tang shodeh;

Tomorrow will be a fine day,

May our love story be gay.

Let future be future,

Our focus is on the present;

I’ve thought about it better,

It’s with you that I want my time to be spent.

Should I bother?

If I don’t get to be a wife and/or mother?

I’m a girl yet a woman,

I’m completed by your passion and affection.

Azizam,

Can you hear the beating drum?

My heart skipped a pump,

Whenever I have you around.

Trials and tribulations,

Trials and errors;

I’m growing stronger,

I won’t shed a tear.

There are things that I fear,

But life will be so much shorter;

If I’m not happier,

I need to level up my gear.

Acceleration on the go,

I just want you to know;

You’re my energy, too,

Right from the head to the toe.

It’s hard to believe to everybody,

But you have a trust in me;

Because you are my somebody,

You are my destiny.

I’m just a miniature,

Still have lots to venture;

Each moment I capture,

Welcome to my culture and structure.

Whatever comes our way,

We can make it through;

I’ll follow what you say,

For you speak the truth.

Words of wisdom,

And freedom;

Send me laughter,

Hug me tighter.

Transparency,

Intimacy;

Merci,

Chemistry,

Sexy,

Uneasy;

Memory,

Timing,

Waiting,

Philosophy;

Scenery,

Chatting.

It’s getting late,

Next challenge is Farsi;

In writing poetry,

8 hours of flight,

Won’t keep us away,

Will keep us awake;

I’ll wait and wait,

From day to day.

Asheghetam,

Azizam;

Have a safe journey mercy,

My warmest regards to your family.

1:25 a.m. Bonus stanza:

You’re the only man I kiss,

Your lips to my lips;

You’re a man of bliss,

You’re the only one I sleep with. 

Something about him

Something about him
Written originally by Jennifer Soh Li Wen, 16th October 2013, Wednesday, 11:40 p.m.-11:51 p.m., in my own room at starry hill, Kepong, KL

What's wrong with me?
Falling in love with somebody;
The one who is friendly,
The one who keeps on smiling,
The one who keeps on cooking,
The one who works hard surviving;
The one who is not my destiny,
But why do I still smile at him?
Why do I feel like searching for him?
Why do I like to look at him?
Why do I try not looking at him?
Why did I avoid but end up failing?
Why did he also smile a lot to me?
It is not a matter of having a degree;
It is about the friendship of humanity,
Do you really understand me?
I am just saying and expressing,
In order to make myself sleep;
Though I thought of him,
Forgetting my past already,
Not even knowing his name,
For him the same;
We just coincidentally came,
To this place,
There is no game,
There is no fame;
Just admiring plain,
For a guy from the plane.

Lay your art upon me

Lay your art upon me
Written originally by Jennifer Soh Li Wen, 15th October 2013, 9:43 a.m.-10:43 a.m., in my own room at a starry hill, KL

You started whispering to my ear,
Left or right; doesn't matter;
You kissed my cheeks,
And licked my lips,
Your tongue caressed my teeth,
The sensation not a myth;
Your warmth showered on me,
Your talk as smooth as it can be,
Your fingers tickling my skin,
Your mouth sucking my chin;
Your hands; oh, they want to win,
I'm so tight; you gave a grin,
You bit my button and pin,
Both became so hard and clean;
I didn't know you're that mean,
Never have I ever seen,
Them like this since I was a teen,
I rolled you over like a jellybean;
On top you; I want to give a scream,
I practiced this at the gym,
My hands running through you,
Going down just to taste you;
Your lips so soft like a tissue,
Your tongue so yummy to chew,
I bit your buttons like how you did,
Your pins just kissed back at me;
Your hands they won't stop moving,
Your fingers searched my cheeks,
Not the upper but lower, please,
My lock is now ready;
I can feel your pressure,
Just show me your key,
I shall give you pleasure,
You comfort me with a blow;
Right on my pillow,
You're looking at me,
Row by row,
I must be at glow;
You took it slow,
Off real slow,
You played with my belly,
But your eyes dimming;
All the way to my fantasy,
More and more; I feel sexy,
Your tongue is so wet and dirty,
You know very well of me;
I can't even reach it,
I'm all yours already,
My thighs are spreading,
Only for you, my honey;
You know what I need,
You came and feed,
The rush of blood in me,
Oh, it's so good; come give it to me;
It's coming and I can't hold it,
I know you want it,
So hot and juicy,
Your lips are spicy;
I'm flying,
You're catching,
Arm in arm,
My turn to set your alarm;
All I need is to turn around,
After you, my crown,
One release and I found,
Hunger fills my mouth;
A popsicle here I found,
While you are already feasting round,
We're like clowns,
In a circus; upside down;
My hands squeezing you now,
You carried me as quick as sound,
You made sure that I wear no gown,
It's time for the lock to feel you now;
You decide and I'll make it count,
You hold my hands,
Telling me to relax,
No stress;
Just press,
I'm there; oh, yes,
This is no chess,
Hair in a mess;
Not in my dress,
Hands on my baby's chest,
He raises up from rest,
Now I'm on the bed;
I can feel his breath,
I want to be with him till death,
I can't think of anything else,
Is my birthday on the twelfth?
Do I have to meet up with Mels?
She knows all on wedding bells,
She plans it well like casting spells,
I can't wait for marriage;
I don't want his wealth,
I just want his health,
And him believing in his own shell,
Not thinking that I'm a piece of meat;
Although he knows I like him to eat,
Laying your art daily upon only me.

I Prefer Reality

I Prefer Reality
Written originally by Jennifer Soh Li Wen, 12th October 2013, Saturday, 5:07 a.m.- 5:53 a.m., in my own room at my new home at a starry hill, awakened after a dream.

Yesterday it was glee,
Finally greeted my Sis;
She asked me of him,
Whom I lost contact already,
Tonight I dreamt of him,
This is reality;
He was driving me,
I was beside sitting,
We talked without feeling,
The clothes we were wearing;
There was so much of his country,
A celebration or something,
The Prime Minister was food giving,
We just passed by him only wishing;
Not remembering taking,
I didn't know anything,
Not a single thing of entity,
Never mind that thing;
It has passed already,
We reached our hostel finally,
We went to our rooms separately,
I needed the washroom - finding;
Met a junior of my initial company,
We talked yet I needed the loo badly,
Inside was really very funny,
The guys' part was full of watery;
But it was still okay to me,
She worked as a writer something,
Not bad quite a successful lady,
Then, I received a tutor calling;
I provided English teaching,
I went to this door knocking,
It was him that was there staying,
I forgot my speech but I was leaving;
He came out and started begging,
He said the loving and confessing,
What was he doing kneeling?
Why was he tearing?
Why was I tearing?
Why did he come body locking?
I did force self-releasing,
All the way to the stairs running;
He came after me chasing,
I said I wanted a Westerner to marry,
A mixed marriage to be,
He didn't make me happy;
I always ended up crying,
But he was my once special kiss,
Now that I shouldn't miss,
For he's dead to me;
There's no happy ending,
It was just a dream,
I awoke with nothing happening,
Just the coughing and peeing;
Stop the self-lying, please,
Maybe it's just a topic to release,
I really need to sleep,
Working has been really tiring;
Like I said he's been dead to me,
Though his image and all so glaring,
He told me he'd go for swimming,
The clothes just leave them as it is;
I told him I'd be at my place not his,
He didn't mind about it anything,
Separate ways not a big thing,
Hostel like apartment so big;
Why am I recording down this?
Rather spend time typing sleepily,
I would still somehow prefer reality,
He doesn't care about me;
He doesn't love me,
Born this month not being with me,
Why is my heart now still signaling?

When I'm Alone

When I'm Alone

Written originally by Jennifer Soh Li Wen, 7th September 2013, Saturday, 12:39 p.m.-12:54 p.m., in Marsiling, Singapore 

When I'm alone, 

Surrounded by stone;

Wearing no cologne, 

My mind blown,

I've no clone, 

It was me alone;

Standing on my bone,

Got myself thrown,

Chiming alarm on my iPhone,

Signaling it's tomorrow morn';

I hope I didn't attack any cone,

I hope I didn't walk to that zone,

The traffic so smooth and slow,

My hair all fully and freely blown; 

All of these and more at dawn,

And all I knew was I followed,

A Malay guy that I've just known.

It was just a Dream

It was just a Dream 

Written originally by Jennifer Soh Li Wen, 22nd August 2013, Thursday, 10:58 a.m.-11:35 a.m., in my room at BSD home 

I slept, 

I woke;

No wept,

No poke.

It was just a dream,

All in a stream;

A moment so seem,

Later on a total dim.

I'm trying to remember,

Was it anytime in summer?

The answer only in slumber,

It's not even yet September. 

I saw some events,

Faces of my friends;

As I laid to rest,

All these came to my head nest.

One thing that I find it deep,

It was a close call so steep;

The hot air balloon couldn't keep,

Started burning without a beep.

What were the people doing?

I couldn't see;

A woman flew out and in glee,

She only had a minor injury,

It would have made me pee,

But I just kept on dreaming;

The hot air balloon is burning,

The land it was approaching. 

It was a close call,

Looked like a fire ball;

But some people didn't care at all,

While some escaped from the mall,

They still ate rice, fish, and meatball.

Which made me wonder,

Life equals to experience?

You'd rather experience danger?

Challenging death's patience?

I saw many familiar faces,

My contacts from all spaces;

Young and old no matter,

Some are close and I'm like a sister.

Another dream was graduation,

Which included job opportunities;

Other sequences I can't really recall,

Especially the early ones not at all.

Perhaps this dream is meant to be,

Tested me on my self-identity;

On who am I and who I want to be,

Am I close or distant to everybody?

Though it was just a dream,

But it seemed like a movie;

In film it could be in the Academy,

In life it could have just hit me.

Will I leave a positive trace?

In encountering puzzle and maze?

Why do I reject a man's praise?

Why in my vision there's still haze?

I'm feeling very tired,

I'm feeling very wired;

I need to fix the broken,

My dream is a reminder token.

Yes, now I remember,

The car workshop so near;

I shall ask them later,

Just the red part no fear.

Alone of loneliness,

Don't make it worthless;

Don't make it breathless,

Enjoy the life of liveliness. 

I'm going to make this work,

I hope I didn't do anything wrong;

My head is such a jerk,

Made me feeling guilty all day long.

If there's any occurrence,

They should be loud;

The little ones won't lie,

I don't want to hurt and cause tears.

I always think of the impossible,

I always think of the unbelievable;

I always think of the irresponsible,

All are so wrong, cruel, and sexual.

Forgive me of my negativity,

I need to be more optimistic;

Keep calm and be positivity,

Live life and be as realistic.

We're only humans,

Made of sperms;

And perhaps germs,

Taste not only lemons.

I shall stop here,

I need to take care of my bladder;

Got to learn to live life better,

No way I'm going to be fatter. 

Let me suffer,

In my own slumber;

Until September,

My own rumble.

The Cow Over the Tree

The Cow Over the Tree

Written originally by Jennifer Soh Li Wen, 13 August 2013, 6:04 p.m.-6:24 p.m., Tuesday, on the way home from Muar, Johor with my parents.

The cow tiptoed gracefully,

Slightly on the top of the tree;

Was it ballet or just a dream?

Was it really or just fantasy?

The cow didn't fall in agony,

The tree stood below him;

The tree kept on feeding in,

He kept on being fed in,

The whole universe bowed freely,

The cow and tree provided the needy;

No one would ever be sorry,

Of getting whatever they need,

Please just tell me your story,

I had only just one life to live;

Everything was a symbiosis belief,

You and me carried grin and grief,

Tomorrow was never a guarantee,

Did I've super powers of any?

Thank God I didn't need many,

My gratitude towards the elderly,

Made me forget every melancholy,

Simple living was the basic identity;

We didn't need that much technology,

Home with love was only the need,

No measure of light weight or heavy,

Thin or thick the soup was the gravy;

I apologized for my brain being fussy,

Awakened me I shouldn't be messy.